Olomouc is a very pleasant place. But in the summer, when I feel the most lively, I want to be in a similarly lively place. Olomouc is a college town without much going on in July. Half or more of the businesses I passed were closed, either for the season or for part of the week I visited.

• Rent: 6.7. The average monthly rent for a one-bedroom apartment in Olomouc is $408.75. Outside of Prague, the cost of living in Czechia is very low.
• Walkability: 6. The historic core of Olomouc, where I spent 95% of my time, is very walkable. Even without that many fully pedestrianized streets, the amount of car traffic is so minimal that you can stroll right in the middle of the street or square most of the time. When I ventured out of the historic core on my last full day in town to visit the laundromat, I found the situation very different. Traffic, while still not particularly heavy, is much steadier, and with only crosswalks and no traffic lights in much of that area, I did quite a bit of scampering.
  

  Not a car in sight here in the historic core. Pedestrians do have to watch out for trams, but as long as you’re off the rails you’re fine (4 July 2018).

• Dating: 6. In terms of quality, the women here are the equal of Prague. Seriously, where do these amazing Czech breasts come from? Is it the food? Something in the water? Whatever it is, it would be a valuable export. What Olomouc lacks, however, is quantity. No doubt there are thousands more beautiful women here when the university is in session, but I’ve aged out of that demographic.
• Food: 7. Olomouc has the same mix of filling Czech traditional fare and ethnic food as does Prague, except it’s much cheaper. I never spent more than $20 for a meal of two pints of beer, a soup, and an entrée.
  

  This “splurge” meal smack dab in the middle of Olomouc’s Lower Square — what you see here is my first beer and the bowl of soup I started with — cost me 400 koruna ($18.17).

• Ambience: 7. Olomouc’s historic core is gorgeous. The city’s more modern buildings aren’t as impressive as Prague’s, but everything’s equally tidy.
  

  The scene is marred only slightly by cables that power the trams rattling by (6 July 2018).

  

  The 21st century has snuck into Olomouc’s historic core in a few areas. This glassy shopping mall is conveniently located right off the Upper Square — note the plague column in the distance (5 July 2018).

• Transit: 6.5. Olomouc neither has nor needs a subway, and the trams basically just run in a loop from the train station through the historic core and back. Those, plus the buses that go further out, are perfectly adequate for you to get around this one-horse town. And as with many of my other destinations, the only times I took public transportation here were when I arrived and when I left (the train station is technically walkable from where I was staying, but I prefer to avoid a 25-minute walk with my heavy pack on my back when I can avoid it).
  

  They’re not particularly fast, but at 14 koruna ($0.63) for a one-way ticket, the trams are a cheap way to get around (6 July 2018).

• Health care: 7.2. I don’t have data for Olomouc, so I’m substituting in the number for the nearby, larger city of Brno.
• Nature: 3. I think you’d have to travel pretty far afield from here to find “nature.”
• Internet: 8. If I could go back in time and revise my ratings system, I’d probably drop this one. Everywhere I’ve been, from Taiwan to Sri Lanka to Europe, everybody’s got adequate wi-fi.
• Crime: 7.7. Again, substituting Brno’s number. Apparently, there is basically no crime anywhere in Czechia.
• Language: 3.0. See my Prague entry. One fun thing I like about Czech is that one of the grammatical suffixes is –y. And it can be applied to loanwords. I’ve seen restaurant signs advertising “steaky,” menus with a “drinky” list, and gelaterias that also serve “yogurty.”
• Bikeability: 8.0. This is another rating I’d go back in time and revise somehow, possibly to change to a “runability” or “exerciseability,” if I may be permitted to make up still more words. I didn’t end up cycling in Olomouc, but I spotted plenty of bike lanes. After all, there’s a university with 17,000 students, a very small percentage of whom drive I imagine, right here in town, and I’m sure those students use the heck out of the cycling infrastructure here. There’s a partial ring of nice parks along the old city wall (some of which is still standing) with lovely walking, running, and biking trails. Which I walked and ran.
  

  This section of parkland is made particularly photogenic by a long and formidable section of surviving city walls (reinforced in the 1700s to keep out the Prussians, you’ll remember) (6 July 2018).

  

  And cyclists can enjoy it too (6 July 2018).

• Friendliness: 6.0. English is not as widely spoken in Olomouc as in Prague. The restauranteurs and shopkeepers of this city were very friendly and patient with me as I struggled with the most basic of Czech words. For which I am grateful.
• Pollution: 6.1. Again, using Brno’s score as a proxy.

And I’ll leave you with a couple more selfies.