I love València. I think I’ve made that plain already. It’s the first city I’ve been to so far that I’d say is clearly superior to Washington, D.C. in terms of quality of life.

One aspect of life in Spain that really appeals to me, but that’s not really reflected in the ratings below, is the Spanish schedule. Work from 10am to 2pm. A slow, leisurely lunch followed by a siesta from 2-4pm. Back to work from 4-8pm. Dinner at 9:30 or 10pm. At last, a country run by night owls instead of early birds! I tell you, I may have found my tribe.

It’s a far cry from the vile, loathsome, oppressive 8am-4pm early bird schedule Washington, D.C. runs on. I don’t naturally wake up until 10 or 11am (so even the Spanish workday starts a teensy bit early for my taste, but what you gonna do?). Having to get up at 6:10am to get to work in the ‘burbs by 8am meant I was basically one of the walking dead (not quite the undead; the “unasleep” I suppose is the right word) every weekday. But if you want to get in around the same time as the boss, and to get out in time to get back to the city for happy hour, that’s what you have to do in Washington, D.C. It’s a schedule devised by early birds. May they all catch the worm and choke on it. Ugh. Just thinking about my alarm going off at 6:10am on a Tuesday morning fills me with rage.

No, in Spain, nobody eats lunch at 11am. There are plenty of people sitting at tables in restaurants and cafes at 11am, but they’re not eating. They’re day-drinking. (And, unfortunately, many are chain-smoking too.) And the restaurants just start setting up their tables at 8:30pm in preparation for dinner. It’s wonderful.

Still, I need to curb my enthusiasm. From what my friends with European experience tell me, there are plenty of cities all across the continent with similarly delightful architecture, delicious food, and beautiful women. So I’m going to hold off on giving away any “10” ratings yet, in case, say, Slovenia blows Spain out of the water.

• Rent: 3.8. While still way cheaper than Washington, D.C., València is one of my comparatively expensive destinations. The average monthly rent for a one-bedroom in the city center here is $649.
• Walkability: 9. There are lots of pedestrianized streets in the old city, and there are sidewalks — usually wide ones — along every major street and nearly all minor ones. And cars totally stop at red lights and yield to pedestrians. They don’t blow through red lights like in D.C., or weave through pedestrians in crosswalks like in Taiwan. I could give out a 10 here, but I think there may be a city or two later in my tour that has basically banned cars entirely in the city center — paradise! — and I need to reserve some space at the top of the charts.
  

  You couldn’t fit a car in here if you tried. Except maybe a really tiny European smart car (5 May 2018).

• Dating: 8. Finally, a city that can compete with Washington, D.C. in terms of the number of beautiful women around! I’m already practicing my Spanish come-on lines. “¡Eres una chica muy bonita!”
• Food: 6. What I’ve discovered in València is a trade-off between quality of food and level of ambience. If I’m sitting at an outdoor table in a gobsmackingly beautiful tourist-filled plaza in València, I’m likely to be eating overpriced, lower-quality food. (And, frankly, that’s a trade-off I’m willing to make, more often than not.) This is the first stop on my world tour so far where I’ve had to watch my wallet — twice in València I blew my entire $30 food budget for the day on a single meal. However, I discovered to my delight that food in supermarkets here is significantly cheaper than in the States. So by eating out once a day and eating in or making a picnic of supermarket food for my other meal, I figured out how to stay within the bounds of my budget.
  

  I had no idea I’d be eating so many tater tots in Spain. But, for €5 ($6), a pitcher of beer, a dish of peanuts, and a “tapa” of “patatas bravas” is a good value. And you gotta love Spain — not a single passerby batted an eyelash at me as I drank an entire pitcher of beer by myself (6 May 2018).

  

  This very respectable bottle of rosé wine cost just €1.20 ($1.50) at the supermarket. No wonder these people drink so much (9 May 2018).

• Ambience: 8. I could have gone higher, and maybe I should have, but I docked València a full point for the graffiti and for all of the smokers puffing away, slightly reducing my enjoyment of the many atmospheric outdoor tables I prefer to dine at.

• Transit: 8. València has a subway, trams, and buses, and they’re cheap and reliable. I did have to wait 10 minutes for a subway train on a couple of occasions, which is less than ideal. And I don’t think València has a single stored-value card that works on all three — you need one for the metro and trams and a separate one for the bus, which is silly. But overall, public transportation here is superb.

• Health care: 8.1.
• Nature: 5. València has a lot of green space. But it’s fairly flat and seems to be pretty far from any hills and mountains with hiking trails.
• Internet: 8.
• Crime: 6.1. The crime rate is significantly lower than Washington, D.C., graffiti aside.
• Language: 6.5. My Spanish is in a state of severe disrepair, but I have studied it before and it should be an easy language to pick up. Also, València is in Catalonia, and although Valèncians aren’t as gung-ho about their Catalan identity as are the inhabitants of Barcelona, I’d probably need to learn at least a little Catalan to get by.
• Bikeability: 9. Again, I’m only holding off on a 10 in case some future city blows me away. València has an extensive network of bike paths, starring but not limited to the lengthy paths through the Jardin del Turia, the river-turned-park running through the center of the city. And motorists seem to be generally aware of cyclists and yield to them when and where bikes have the right-of-way.

• Friendliness: 6. People here in Spain, even in large cities like València (Spain’s third-largest), seem to know their neighbors. If I spoke better Spanish, I think I’d be able to make friends and acquaintances pretty easily here.
  

  Some local seniors having an animated conversation around a sidewalk bench (8 May 2018).

• Pollution: 6.3.