Tainan vital statistics:

• Population (2016): 1,170,000 (urban area)
• Latitude & longitude: 22˚ 59′ N, 120˚ 11′ E
• January average temperature: High 23.9˚C (75.0˚F), low 14.1˚C (57.5˚F)
• July average temperature: High 32.9˚C (91.2˚F), low 26.4˚C (79.5˚F)
• Time zone: GMT+8 (12 hours ahead of U.S. EDT)
• Language: Taiwanese, Chinese, Hakka
• Currency: New Taiwan Dollar (NT$)
• Exchange rate: US$1=NT$29
• Average rent of 1-bedroom apartment in city center: ?? ($286.67 in the neighboring, larger city of Kaohsiung)

10 April 2018: My first impression of Tainan: Cross the street at your own risk, crosswalk or no.

My second impression of Tainan: Wow, look at all the cockroaches!

Now it could just be that I was a bit out of sorts on first arriving here. My Rick Steves Europe Through the Back Door convertible suitcase-backpack didn’t seem that heavy when I walked the two or so miles to Union Station in Washington, D.C. to begin my adventure, but that was on a cool, crisp early spring day. And in muggy Taipei, I never had to lug it very far: Plane, airport bus, a couple of blocks on the way in; a few steps to the subway, a few more to the train on the way out.

But I splurged and took the Taiwan High-Speed Railway (THSR) from Taipei to Tainan (NT$1,390 [US$47.49], one-way), since I’d never taken a bullet train or any other high-speed train before. The THSR is not a bullet train, but it is noticeably faster than the Amtrak Northeaster. It’s also much quicker than the regular trains in Taiwan. Unfortunately, I discovered, the THSR stations (exept the one in Taipei) are all in inconvenient locations. They’re not co-located with the regular train stations, which in most cities in Taiwan are right in the center of town. No, THSR stations are all out in the ‘burbs, meaning you get there quick, but then you’ve got to endure another 25-40 minutes on a bus to reach your actual destination.

Anyway, I made good time getting to the Tainan THSR station, crossing the Tropic of Cancer en route. (Tainan is the first of my three tropical destinations.) The shuttle bus from there to the city is free, which was a pleasant surprise. My plan was to take the bus to the regular train station in downtown Tainan and find a nearby hotel to stay in. For my stay in Taipei, I booked an Airbnb three weeks in advance, because I knew I’d be exhausted and jetlagged when I arrived and I wouldn’t want to deal with the hassle of finding someplace to stay. But for Tainan, I figured I’d go no-reservations and just wing it, since I’d be well-rested and rolling into town in the early afternoon, just in time for check-in. I peeked at Google Maps and saw that Tainan Train Station is pretty close to most of the interesting sights, so I figured I’d take the bus there, maybe ask the tourist information desk at the train station for a recommendation, and find a budget hotel nearby that looked promising.

Unfortunately, I took the wrong bus. I figured a bus going to “Tainan City Government” would stop along the way at or near the train station, since it seemed logical that city hall and the train station would both be centrally located and probably near one another. En route, I checked Google Maps again and found that this wasn’t the case. I was looking at about a mile, mile and a half walk. But, I figured, Union Station was a farther walk than that and the weight of my bags didn’t bother me, so why not give it a go? Walking around is the best way to familiarize yourself with a new city, anyway.

Luggage weighs a lot more when it’s 30˚C (86˚F) than when it’s 15˚C (59˚F). That is a scientific fact, my friends. Look it up. I was weighed down, literally and figuratively, by my (albeit relatively meager) possessions. So I was feeling a bit grumpy.

Maybe that’s why I was particularly cognizant of Tainan’s shortcomings. Notably, unlike Taipei, there aren’t walk signals with countdown timers at every major crosswalk. Often there’s no walk signal at all. So you have to watch the green traffic signal like a hawk while you’re crossing a major street, since it might turn yellow at any point, forcing you to scurry the rest of the way across. Also, like Taipei but even more so, drivers, especially motor scooter drivers, when they’re turning right or left on green, hate to slow down or stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk. They won’t mow you down (provided they see you), but they’ll weave and dodge to get just ahead of or behind you to zip through the intersection. And most motor scooters don’t have particularly loud engines, so you really have to watch carefully to spot one as it’s about to zip around a corner. I find this behavior highly irritating. I much prefer that drivers just stop and let me clear at least one lane of crosswalk before they turn.

And then there were the cockroaches. I saw a few in Taipei, but yikes! I don’t have a phobia of any critter with fewer than eight legs, thank goodness, but I’m still taken aback when at least every other storefront has enough arthropods scurrying about that it’s like a cockroach-scale dog park down there. I saw the more diligent shopkeepers sweeping them out of the way with a broom, as if they were dusting, or just stamping on the nearest ones.

In any event, I made it to the train station, got a budget hotel recommendation from the tourist information staff, and then about half a block away I found a shady spot, off-loaded my suitcase-backpack and my man-purse, sat down, and took a breather. I opened up the Orbitz app on my smartphone and spent 20 minutes getting some virtual second opinions on Tainan hotels. I chose one of the nearby ones that was well within my price range and purportedly had in-room wi-fi, strapped myself back into my luggage, and plodded on over.

It proved to be an excellent choice. If you ever find yourself in Tainan and need a centrally located budget hotel with great wi-fi and an attentive staff, I highly recommend Famous Hotel (名世大飯店).

(And no, I did not receive any compensation in exchange for this recommendation. But if anyone wants me to do product placement for them, just drop me a line. I’m unemployed and will totally trade in my scruples for cash.)